My emotions were a little mixed up today. I am not sure when the roller coaster ride started but do remember a few of the dips and turns. Like a dream though, what I do not want to forget will vanish when I wake up.
The kids routine morning protest to me is only hearsay, so I returned to wondering if a later start-time would be better than coming home in the early afternoon. If I started at 8:00, it would put me home at 5:00. This would limit my ability of picking the kids up or being home for the after school meltdown.
Most of the day, these guys were on my mind. And when me and a coworker were talking about buyouts and early retirement, the subject of paying for your children's education came up. How much will I be able to do for my children? I was not afforded the opportunity myself nor am I familiar to anyone who was. So I am a little stumped on what to do. As the discussion continued on, I began to recall and ponder if I have done enough to leave an impression on my kids. Regardless, I want to do more.
The evening winding down did not stop the coaster's cars of more sentiment. As I watched the telling of the Exodus where God speaks to Moses from the fiery bush, my heart imploded. I miss God.
And the march continued as my self worth went on trial. Am I all that I can be?
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