Self worth, Self pity

My emotions were a little mixed up today. I am not sure when the roller coaster ride started but do remember a few of the dips and turns. Like a dream though, what I do not want to forget will vanish when I wake up.

The kids routine morning protest to me is only hearsay, so I returned to wondering if a later start-time would be better than coming home in the early afternoon. If I started at 8:00, it would put me home at 5:00. This would limit my ability of picking the kids up or being home for the after school meltdown.

Most of the day, these guys were on my mind. And when me and a coworker were talking about buyouts and early retirement, the subject of paying for your children's education came up. How much will I be able to do for my children? I was not afforded the opportunity myself nor am I familiar to anyone who was. So I am a little stumped on what to do. As the discussion continued on, I began to recall and ponder if I have done enough to leave an impression on my kids. Regardless, I want to do more.

The evening winding down did not stop the coaster's cars of more sentiment. As I watched the telling of the Exodus where God speaks to Moses from the fiery bush, my heart imploded. I miss God.

And the march continued as my self worth went on trial. Am I all that I can be?

Election Coverage

Yes, we made freedom count today by voting. Besides the Presidential race, we voted on the Governor and several other items. When asked how we voted we simply reply, 'Secret Ballot'. This has been her dad's response for several years and now a running joke for us. Pepsi or Coke? Why 'Secret Ballot' of course.

Now that our votes are casted, I get to enjoy the newscasts tell me the difference between 'too early to call' and 'too close to call' “all night long”. I am just glad they learned their lessons about calling the election before the fat lady sings. Some of the statistics they throw out there though really seems silly, and do I really need to know that stuff.

Unfortunately, I have to suffer through all of this alone. She has to work tonight, where there is no access to a TV, so I am texting her updates as there are significant changes. I really wish she was home with me to discuss all of this stuff.

So many made the effort to vote today, I can only hope that they made knowledgable decisions.

Wicked Witches

I am always teasing that my sister-in-law is the Wicked Witch from The Wizard of Oz, one, she is terrified of the flying monkeys; I know that does not fit, and two, she is mean. To my surprise though, I find out this week that my own sister may be a witch.

Last week, she was kind enough to watch the kids while I went with the wife to Parent\Teacher conferences. The teachers thought our children were smart, wonderful, a joy to have. I am still convinced each teacher mixed up the files. No, not really. I know both of my kids are smart and do well when they are not under our unrestricted control.

Anyway back to my sister and no we did not go pick them up baked inside a pie. Hmmm, pie. Actually she had just started to fatten them up with bowls of chili. She did offer to feed them dinner and asked if we wanted the same. I then explained that I have not been doing well with tomato saucy foods. She then hexed me saying that was a sign of a failing gallbladder.

Today, I felt bloated and sick to my stomach with a pain on my right side just under the ribs. WebMD's diagnosis put gallbladder at the top of the list. I still feel uncomfortable and will probably call to make an appointment with the butcher. Well first the witch doctor and then the butcher.

Maybe I can convince the butcher to put my gallbladder in a jar for my sister!

Dreams are back

It seems as though the dreams are back. I cannot remember when the last one occurred, months ago I bet. Anyway, Tuesday's dream was over the edge. I found myself in a hotel walking down a hallway when I came to a door that was partially open. No way in real life would I go into such a room, but in the fantasy world we do strange things. After entering the room, I saw what could be describe as an Adult Store explosion. There were different types of items sprawled over the bed, the floor, and there was even a couple video cameras setup on tripods. Some folks shooting a porno? That's just it though, where was everyone? Apparently that thought escaped me because I began browsing the selection, finding an item that erected my interest. Worries of getting caught did not keep me from performing my solo act and then it's time to wakeup.
Wednesday's dream must be a continuation with the people returning to the room. The close quarters had a few feeling one another up and down ;) This dream was shorter though, barely getting started and I was awake again.
Typing this may have started the subconscious thoughts for another night of these dreams. I am not sure what brought them back. I could really do without.

The Thing

I just finished watching John Carpenter's 1982 version of The Thing. Tonight was not my first time watching it, I have seen it a time or two. I really like the movie and it came to mind after watching Alien and Aliens. NETFLIX recently put some new movies out on their Watch Instantly section; they did a great job picking them.

The neat thing about watching a movie more than once is you pick out some things you never noticed before. There is one part of the film where the thing resembles the spider-like creatures from Alien, which was done in 1979. I am not a cinematic genius so I will not get a discussion about who or what, in this case, came first. You can go back to 1951 with the release of The Thing From Another World, and then you start wondering how far back can you trace this story. Maybe a 100,000 years?

What got me tonight was the realization that the story continues, I think, in The X-Files: Fight the Future. As some things occurred in The Thing, I remembered some things in The X-Files movie that were similar. Do a movie night and see how many things you can connect to one another.